It seems that France's Olympic swim team has been introduced to the Weauxf Gods. For the uninitiated, Weauxfing (pronounced and sometimes spelled 'woofing') is best explained by Oliver's Woofing Theorem:
"Oliver's Woofing Theorem states, in a nutshell, that in any given
athletic competition (team, individual, amatuer, professional), the
team/player who is the most over-hyped/over-praised by him/her/its
fans/supporters is likely to LOSE the competition."
And it is policed by the Weauxf Gods. They are all-knowing and all-
powerful. They and they alone decide the outcome of ALL
sporting events.
Unfortunately for France, their star swimmer Alain Bernard is unfamiliar with the Weauxfing theorem, or so it would seem by the comment he made last week regarding yesterday’s 4x100 freestyle relay heats:
“The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for”
It seemed as if his prediction was going to come true. Halfway through the race, the US team was losing. And as they kicked off the wall into the last 50 meters of the race, Jason Lezak was half a body behind France's Bernard.
But he didn't quit. He got a self-described supercharge, fighting back and eventually winning on the very last stroke of the race, by eight hundredths of a second, the slimmest margin of victory in the history of the race.
While its easy to confuse what happened with athleticism meeting fierce determination...it's clear what that supercharge actually was: The Weauxf Gods exacting a severe penalty on Alain Bernard for his Weauxfing. Not only did the French team lose to the Americans, but they did so in
such a spectacular fashion that they are sure to become immortalized in Olympic lore for all time.
ESPN described it as "the stuff of Disney movies." And for the incredible feel good ending of a Disney sports movie to occur for the protagonists, there has to be an equally powerful emotional reaction in the negative direction for the antagonists.
I bet it stings, really bad.
Just something to keep in mind as we come out of another sports dead zone and head into another football season. The Weauxf Gods hear all.
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